The tear of guilt and misery {CHAPTER 3 PART 3}

 

A month has passed since Fred started living with me. The winter is growing milder and milder with each passing day, to a give warmth to every life in this world. The frozen lakes and ponds, the ice is slowly breaking and thinning out so I feel excited to see the nostalgic sight I was always fond of. I can see the end of my dark ages, finally. Thanks to this random stranger, I can see the ray of hope once again.
  She doesn’t talk much about herself, and her attitude has also mellowed down after I agreed co-operating. She is like a mirror, or I can even say a wall. I vent out on her, time to time. I do feel bad, for dumping all my frustrations, anger, worries, sorrows on her but she doesn’t really mind it that much. For many a times, I asked her to do the same for her but she would always ignore them.
  Erici also made a health recovery programme for me, which I’ve been following from last month. It involves of extensive body training, martial arts, weight gain and lots of other junk. I cannot get why I would require this. Sadly enough, she pours lot of effort into teaching but the the results are not so great. Even so, I have not given up yet. At least till she would teach me, I would face anything she throws at me.
  I finally got a haircut, its not very shiny but well it is a lot better, getting a haircut once in awhile really relieves stress for me. Also due to this weird student-master relationship Erici has created yes at first when she talked about it, I jumbled it with me being a slave I have to wear a uniform. A plain white shirt on black pants and formal black shoes. I would be like some high standard bodyguard if I buffed up, Fred’s mouth dropped when shefirst saw me like that but when I tried to tease her about it she gave a nice tight slap. She also marked with some weird insignia, a tattoo under my left ear. She say it is for safety purpose, like every other thing she has provided me, yet despite a month I only know her namme and maybe some of her favourite foods and movies. Other than that Erici Frederyck is a total stranger. But it is nice to have her, I mean she is rehabilitating me. Maybe she may have some ulterior motive but she is cleaning me off the filth, and for that I must thank her from bottom my soul. I also have to apologize for my rude behaviour, although it was justified I kinda feel bad now.

November 2^nd, 594. Today.

I was really hyped up for this day. The warm summer sky that has bestowed upon me its blessings, and also motivated me to move out in the companionship of the day. Of course Fred will accompany me because I know I may freak out al of a sudden. We would be shopping at some place called Graldian Leatherworks. I basically have zero prior experience of this specific shop, searched about it on the net but there weren’t any reviews nor a directory of that place. Today is a Sunday, so I just don’t want to bump into people I know. It would be really awkward to randomly face them all of sudden, the chances are slim because I was rather inconspicuos in school and outdoors. I will be also visiting a Jiradiniya. Now don’t even know what that is but according to Erici, it is basically a library and book store. Excitement is currently running through my veins. One of the reasons is that this would first time going out with a chic. But I don’t know why but this seem superficial, and deep down I certainly feel hollow.

   “Let’s get going shall we”, Erici was finally ready. She was wearing clothes similar me, so were looking like partners straight out of some detective or spy movie. She was also wearing dark glasses which I envied because she was looking a lot cooler, there was this firm look on her face, which was full of experience and wisdom even though she was only an year older than me at best. It would seem that we were on a cosplay date but that was a fantasy. If such a beautiful girl becomes my girlfriend I would be such a happy man but a fact would remain that she would be the one to save me and not the other way around.
   I locked the door and we were ready to move downstairs. Purposefully using stairs so that my heart wouldn’t beat out of my body and also comtemplate over today’s goals.  Erici was walking a couple of step behead, she had her guard on. It was like were in enemy territory with uneasy silence enveloping us, as if at any point an the foe would ambush us. Some of the pedestrians stared at us with a curios face, they seemed scared but curious to talk to us. I couldn’t help but feel embaressed. I enjoyed the way, the girls looked at me too. They would ogle out like a kid watching a sweet shop display, but I would look away in fear of being talked to. Also Erici was with me, so it wasn’t like they would have any confidence to come to me. Now I don’t understand if that is a win or a loss. I thought, Shit! Because of this chic always being around I’d never get a girl.

   We were in front of a bakery when I spotted a duo of girls, one of who was around my age and the other looked a bit older were passing by on the other side of the lane, one of them looked familiar; seem to be muttering between themselves. One of them, a girl wearing white skirt  with an intricate pattern of red roses embroided on it, and the bottom of the skirt laced with roses as well, a sunhat covered her blonde head. The other much older, looked like her assistant or an attendant. This girl looked exceptionally beautiful amongst us. Beautiful or ugly, I didn’t intend to talk to anyone without a gender bias. So I looked at Erici, in hopes of she declining their offer but she turned her face towards the blondehead and instead of a no asked them to come over our side instead. My jaws dropped after seeing her poor face reading. I sighed in despair, as they walked to us.
   “Damn Tom, where were you”, she looked straight into my eye as if she would be dissapointed if the answer was no. I tried to focus on her beautiful face as if I was thinking very hard.
   “Huh! What the fuck you forgot about me. I am so gonna punch you. Did you lost your brain while I was away, you didn’t even respond to my letters. Wait did you even receive them?”, she looked very frustrated but those words flicked something in my brain. Elizabeth Grannert? But why would she be here? She had become quite a celebrity after that silly drama and now randomly spotting her.
  “Elizabeth, the fuck are doin’ round here. Did they screw you?”, I responded in a shocked tone. There was no reason to be couth around her because we lose all civility when talking to each other for some reason, and that shocked the older lady. She turned her face towards Erici and nodded as she carefully scanned her head to toe.
  “That chic’s your girlfriend? Boy aren’t you lucky. Anyway, you gotta tell me why you never responded to my messages in last three years and I cannot even contact your parents . You must give me a good treat as an apology- ”. At that instant I experienced my heart skip a beat. For the first time in three years, I had heard those words. Elizabeth had her memories unaltered and unscathed. I couldn’t control myself, the dam that was my sorrow was destroyed. Tears started flowing without any obstruction. A pane of a black window, that had blocked my rays of hope. Erici was like a counsellor but I never trusted her to confess such a heavy secret to. As these thoughts and contradictions rushed my brain, I found myself bawling over the ground. Elizabeth was astonished to see me like that, she understood that she touched a nerve.
  “I am sorry for this intrusion. I don’t know what I did but it seems I did something despicable”. Elizabeth began to think, she was somehow at fault. But that was no it, it was the opposite. I had finally found someone to vent out the dreadful night.
  “No, actually…. Can I get your phone number. Thomas doesn’t have a phone. He would like to contact you later. And if possible, can you make a meeting possible?”, Erici stepped in, for some strange reason she understood me. I was thankful to her, as I myself was not in any condition to think rationally like that. I just wanted to lighten my heart by sharing my burden without being called a numbskull. Eizabeth looked concerned, and she agreed without a single thought. I have some great friends and I betrayed their affection for me. Such a dork, I mocked myself. Erici humbly took their leave, I watched my friend’s back as she disappeared beyond the horizon.