The tears of guit and misery {PART 7}

 

At about 6.30 p.m. I returned home. Master, was taking a shower. I didn’t peep, the sound reverberated throughout the room. The pressure cooker was making a whistle, the sounds were ringing in my ear. When you cry your heart out, your mind hits a reset button and you slowly start integrating with reality again but in that thoughtless and senseless state one is susceptible to accepting things and behaviour that usually the indivisual would not do in normal condition.
  The door of the balcony was open, the hall was carressed by the cool evening breeze that flowed in. My mind wass instinctively wary of the surrounding. My forehead before long covered in sweat, the fear that had clouded me was overturned by danger. Death danced around me, surely- what had been happening? Why now? Why all of a sudden was I coming to a halt. Srange insecurities locked my comman sense, the vase on the stool near the window slipped and shattered to pieces. I could sense someone was there. The wind didn’t have such a high velocity that it could do something like that. I turned around to see it, still on the sofa. Suddenly a nude Erici , still wet from the shower and having a murdurous glimmer in her eyes, ordered, “Crouch nowwwww”. It was want for me. Never question her, that was what I had decided earlier. Without a second thought I held my neck with both my hands and pushed it towards my guts. The next moment, I heard a violent slash near my ears. I was instantly petrified. Hair on the back of my head stood frozen, as that happened.  I saw needles in her hand, and while holding them like a dart, she muttered something and threw them overhead. In less than a second, my ears were filled with a violent screech. Something dropped onto me, a body. I hesitantly looked at that frightened face, the needle had buried in the middle of his forehead between his eyebrow. My hands had losttheir strenght, I was trying to get up and run from there but my legs quivered as I collapsed on the ground. The blood that leaked out of that fatal wound stained my white shirt, I yelped in pure agony.
   “Thomas…..Thomas?”. The hands of the murderer reached out to me, the capital crime, the sin against the humanity. That person, checking that ‘Am I okay?’. Of course not, why was I affiliated with her? She was cunning and dicey but now I get those hostile looks. She must have done some heinous crime. My brain started making sense out of something that made no sense. Yes, I was seeing the battle axe this person had held in his hand. The sword that was on his waist, the grim looking armour piece on  his chest. There was every reason to believe he was there to hunt… to kill me just like Elizabeth Grannert had warned. So why was I not ready to believe Erici had saved me rather than the fact that she had killed this person? Maybe that is human tendency to make look as the saviour is the demon only because the method was morbid or admoniable.

C4- Burden of life

“…..”

“You are awake”.

“………..Erici”

“Sorry, you had to see that, but there was no other way”.

“…..” What could I say? Who was wrong or who wasn’t was not the question, taking a life is never an option or is it?

“I would have liked not to kill him, but he was someone who would kill or be killed”. What did she mean to say? There is no one in this world who would think like that.
  “There ain’t no way in hell that is a case is it, you murdurous blood whore”. Some things are unacceptable, even though they are practical. I would have rather lay dead, then seeing such misenthropy.

 “Yeah I suppose you’d say that considering you do not understand this situation”.

 “You don’t tell me anything and yet you have audacity to say that. Of course I will say you are at the wrong”.

 “…..You have to protect what you love”. Ridiculous, that was the word summarize what she said. Trying to sike me so that I would lose all the attention of the topic. What kind of stupid tangent she was trying to pull? She had knocked the life out of the person, the bone chilling face that the dead man had made had already engraved in my fragile heart.

“Okay then I reject you even before you confess. Now tell me everything”. Her eyes and brows rolled down for a split second before she planned her next statement.

“……Who’d you sacrifice in a situation like that?”. She asked. Going the philosophical route. An enemy that is controlled by bloodlust or a unarmed and unguarded friend. She didn’t have a choice. But I don’t them to die-

“He was a henchman, sent to kill you. The reason I have not tell you anything…..is because, the more threatful it becomes for us. It is like a grip of a python. The more one struggles, the more it strenghtens”. Her hands were not specifically tied, it was because, an informed me was more dangerous according to the enemy.

“….”

“There will be many a times that you’d have to forbade lives. Never ever chose the most optimistic answer, even if one day…. It would be me. I don’t comply to lose your humanity but keep the lives of you and the ones important to you at the highest priority of safety. Please do not risk them, you’d only regret it”. There was nothing wrong in her words. Even though I was trembling, her actions were not influenced by fury but well being and preservation.

“But still, couldn’t you have just captured him?”. That was still a viable alternative but it wasn’t considered by her and denied instead.

“Have you not noticed that you don’t have your clothes on?”. I was so involved in the debate that I didn’t even notice myself and the things around me. And sure I was naked in my bed. Although she had covered. Embarressment rose my face.

“Why did ya- ”

“They can put curses on their target, leaving marks on the body. Unfortunately they can be only detected by a special tool”. Curses, what was this. A stupid horror movie taking place in the pyramids of Kazu? But to be honest, after experiencing all this stupidity, I have to did consider it. I was casually looking across the room whilst thinking about when I noticed panties besides my blanket. They looked somewhat wet. Where was this turning? I gulped and asked.
 “Why are your panties here, and…wet?”.

“Your ‘thing’ was a little excited, so it was a little distracting during the scan. So I… Anyway, you get ready. There’s a new item being added to your schedule. We’d do it at night after dinner”. Saying that she left the room.
   She used me? Such an unethical act. I hadn’t even given her consent, I wouldn’t have if given the choice. For some reason, I cannot understand. Bodily desires. I consider them taboo. And a new item in the schedule late at night. I couldn’t help but panic at this unethical development.

Besides this tomfoolery, there were many lose ends I needed to tie. Erici reffering something ‘Marnagle’ and only visiting one of the two stores, her connection with Elizabeth and that suspicious letter and the dead man. Now if you don’t know about our predator. The extent of its capabilities, the danger it possesses, then it is even wrong to consider the hope to live through an attack.
  Now then, after the dinner. My new schedule was to be discusses, the whole fetishizing she did with an unconsiousman was detestable at the least and I was not obliged for doing any of it …….not that I could do anything. Like how a cat play with the mice before having in it full. Now I do know that she wouldn’t do anything stupid but the things she is dragging me in, being involved in something honourable is debatable. Anyway, after we finished cleaning the kitchen top, cutlery and some idle chatter; we arrived in the study or more precisely the office and also my bedroom. All the ‘garbage’ was thrown out, replaced  by bookshelves and an armory which used to be my cupboard accompanied by a rustic office desk. Straight out a detective or police movie from the 50s,with my poor bed in the sidelines at the left corner of room.
   “Now about the new schedule”, Erici meekly spoke. Whilst sititing in at the desk and going through files? The incident from earlier, I was feeling extemely awkward. Unable to see in her face, and also vexed because she was acting like it is nothing like for instance, the sun rising everyday.
  “….”

  “And about earlier, don’t worry. It was just a prop”. Cruel. The word that was bombarded by my mind at her.

  “The moment I have some respect for you, you go ahead and kick that out. Was that a way to cheer me? I was flipping out you- ”

  “Well then you’ll be studying these three books and we start training your Ganaav from today”. She was using some exquisite wrds once again, not telling me the context. I felt like watching a drama blindfolded or tasting food in the absense of a tounge.

  “You see, woman MY LIFE IS ON THE LINE and do not even tell me who the opponent is!”, I yelled at her. Fury dictated me to a path, even if it would be impossible to bore a hole in this rock named Erici would not mean-

  “You…….Thomas Letcher is your enemy. Your birth is your enemy. Your fate is your enemy. The way you think is your enemy”,she bluntly asserted. Those words, she was asking me to loath myself? This was something serious, her eyes narrowed as if only seeing how I think with the movement, colour, depth of my eye movements. She let out a deep sigh, with distorted lips. Moistening them wit her tounge.
  “This letter…. From Elizabeth. Right?”. I nodded my head in affirmation.

  “What is her connection with you, Erici?”.

  “I am on good terms with Raznav for now. Her boss that is”.
Elizabeth’s boss? Is she not an independent actress! More doubts, a pile of unanwsered questions, inviting even more. My sanity would explode if I left in dark again. A name I’ve never heard. Most probably he isn’t in the show buisness so then who is he.

  “But she takes independent contracts, is it not? So..”

  “A member from the Oracle faction. Once part of the organisation, their research concluded that the ritual cannot be stopped in any circumstances. In case the host is destroyed, uncertain and potentially hazardous things can take place, a thing in which the organisation can never believe in”.  So by her terminology, I am some kind of host. The organisation is my enemy and Erici is trying to decline fate, so that I can live? And then what about the ambiguous position of this faction. Why do they even think I am special, am I special?
  “An organisation huh? Even if I try being a badass rebel, that would still be realistiaclly impossible to destroy them huh?”.

  “……Correct. Consider this, a thousand hostile and cooperative lions pounce at an elephant. See no matter how strong the elephant is- ”. Correct assessment. A hopeless stand to keep myself alive.
  “So shall I not live peacefully until the demise eventually embraces me”. If the situation is this hopeless, why even bother. Something she emphasises so much on, when her eyes scream despair, why even try?

  “Pessimism. Now of all times, when I have got a grant from them to try and defeat fate?”, there was fury, there was will power and then there was a slight tremble in her stance. She was pushing herself, to what she was not. Even if more and ridiculously excessive more than me….. she was not strong in a wider picture.
   There is someone who is more stronger, more hard working, better, better at everything than you are. That’s how it is. But-

  “But being a part of organisation, you. Why are you saving me?”. That was odd. No that was incorrect and incomprehensible.

  “Personal reasons……foolish of me isn’t it?”.

  “Is that a confession, how smooth of ya. I am impressed, well for because once again its something I can’t pull off”. But of course these weren’t my real thoughts. Most likely, she would kill me if the rules she had agreed upon would be broken. Such a remark was only to lighten the tension.
   “If that helps you to solve your doubts then be it. Now then”, I interuppted her for the umpteenth time. Derailing the conversation, that would ultimately lead to obvious questions. That is the only way I saw it.

   “You’d kill me yourself, if you fail at your objective ain’t ya. And…”. And the thing was the oracle faction must now have conclusive evidence to their claim. Although they themselves will never take actions against me, going against their principles that is but that does not apply to Erici Frederyck. So was this my last hour? Elizabeth Graniert and Raznav, was that? Thank you to wxtinguish my fluttering wick.
  “That ultimately depends on me doesn’t it? My ideal, is it to confirm your life until I myself can see that you are better dead. The Oracle, Pilaus alias of Sol Raznav. He is someone that knows about you more than yourself. He knows what will happen even when the phenomena that will happen will be be impossible. He confirmed that killing you is more dangerous that Thomas Letcher. However that was something the organisation couldn’t digest. I know I cannot but I do have my priorities set”.

  “…”

  “But still, until the second arrives that I know for sure, that it cannot be helped I’ll surely help you. To give you a fighting chance”.

  “What have I done exactly to be treated as an S-class criminal ?”. Surely there sould be some solid reason, an explaination that was so convincing that I myself would be ready for the inevitable.

  “…..You…were born”.

I was born. That was my mistake. Erici was crestfallen whilst saying that. As if she was pierced by a thousand arrows. Depression, yes being utterly disgusted by her own remark. Was this her mistake? Absolutely not, she was here to curve my fate itself. Riskingher own reputition.